


Champagne

by jjongerotic (mumz)



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Brief mention of Kryber, Comedy, Established Relationship, Fluff, I have a thing for jealous!Key, Jonghyun is a single pringle, M/M, Mild Language, Romance, Same-Sex Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 09:23:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12009786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumz/pseuds/jjongerotic
Summary: Where Kibum whines, Jonghyun wants strippers to dance on his lap, Jinki tries not to get an STD before his wedding and Minho runs to save his future inheritance.





	Champagne

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from LJ (crossposting in progress!)
> 
> thank you for reading! enjoy~ :)

 

 

 

 _It's time to pop-pop-pop-pop bottles._  
Let's get the bubbly following.  
Let's go!

 

\--

 

“Everybody loves champagne! Why don’t you!?”

“I just don’t like the taste… it’s too _sugary_ _._ ”

“Ugh, you’re such a prune. I can’t even believe you’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Geez Jonghyun, you’re the _best_ maid of honor ever...”

“What!? Fuck you! I’m no _bride’s maid_! I’m the mother fucking best man!”

Kibum laughed, watching the flames dance in his best friend’s eyes as he slammed his fist against the table, making some of the guests jump in surprise.

The music was pumping way too loud for his liking, but this was his bachelor party and he had to give credit to Jonghyun for booking the entire VIP area of the club for the party.

Neon lights flickered before his eyes and at the insistent tugging on his wrist Kibum took a second sip of the sparkling pink beverage before he sighed, letting himself give in, drink in hand as he let himself be dragged once again to the dance floor by an excited puppy.

“Let’s party up bitches! I didn’t spend two grands booking this shit for you to be sitting on your cute asses all night!”

Kibum groaned in embarrassment at his best friend’s words, laughing as his friends roared and clapped in agreement to Jonghyun’s words of encouragement, already used to the composer's flashy personality.

And that's one of the many things in which they differed. Kibum wasn’t the party type of guy per se; in fact, if it had been up to him, he would’ve chosen something far more elegant for such an important event—a fancy Italian restaurant perhaps, or his tastefully decorated apartment which was big enough to house all his friends.

But sadly, Jonghyun lived for the night and the parties, so he had to suck it up and at least try to have some fun to amuse the brown-haired male.

With a sip of his diet coke (he had given up on the champagne after the third sip, he's never been able to tolerate alcoholic beverages very... _well_ ) he followed the twenty six year old further into the dance floor, smiling and greeting a few of his friends on the way.

Everyone was drinking that bad tasting champagne that Jonghyun claimed was the most delicious thing ever, making him stare longingly at his glass that was dangerously running low on his carbonated beverage.

Should he go up and ask that young man right there serving drinks how the punch was like? Hopefully it wouldn't be that bad for the liver-

 _Shit_... was he really such a prune?

“Come on Kibum! Let’s dance! This is our song!” It really wasn’t, but the man obviously was starting to get intoxicated with the music and the alcohol so he sighed and laid his glass on the nearest table, really trying to follow the beat but with no success whatsoever.

Jonghyun kept moving his hips and making that weird robot move that had a few of their girl friends rolling their eyes. He laughed out loud at the sight of his highschool friend Amber Liu dragging her confused girlfriend away from the man now moon-walking in their direction.

 _Come on babe, you might catch the weird if you stay too close._ She had mumbled, glaring daggers at the oblivious man while steering Krystal away and towards the bar for a refill of her beer.

The scene was pathetic and endearing all at once. But what could he say… he didn’t have the soul or the mind to focus at the moment; on Jonghyun, his guests, or his own party.

His mind was miles away, focused on a certain dorky, sweet, (fucking hot) wonderful man having a bachelor party just like him. 

“I know what you’re thinking about, or rather, _who_ you’re thinking of.” His best friend wiggled his index finger accusingly.

Jonghyun really liked Jinki, he thought of him as a brother—he was the one who introduced them in the first place—but he wasn’t a fan of how frequently his thoughts would stir and shift their direction without his consent towards that clumsy literature professor.

That best friend of his was an attention whore, so yeah, as much of a brother he considered his fiancé to be, in those moments he wasn't but being doted with Kibum's attention when he whined for it,  all he wanted was to strangle and beat the crap out of Lee Jinki.

And this wasn’t an exception.

“Sorry Jjong. I’m just kinda curious about how Jinki’s bachelor party is going.”

Okay, yes, he _was_  curious. He just wasn’t about to admit how he was literally dying to know where Jinki's own best friend had taken him to for him to indulge in and enjoy the last night of unrestricted commitment.

For the past week Kibum had bribed Taemin with Amazon gift cards and fifty percent off Starbucks coupons for him to spill information about the bachelor party his boyfriend was planning for his fiancé.

But of course, Taemin was so faithful to Minho, in every single way, that that year certificate of free banana milkshakes he had waved as his final offer hadn't fazed him the least.

“Well, I bet Jinki’s having the time of his life right now, so you don’t have to worry about him.”

Frowning, Kibum tried to hide the pout forming on his lips. He knew Jinki was having a good time right now, he had been bouncing around all week, all excited and happy about all the surprises Minho had in store for him.

He had been so excited he didn’t even kiss him goodbye when they parted ways this afternoon! Like,  _what the hell!_

And that was partially why he was feeling so bummed out and reluctant to fully enjoy his own party.

Not even once had Jinki called him or at least sent him a message to ask him how he was feigning. His freaking fiancé could’ve been kidnapped and sold to some drug dealers looking for a fine booty!—Kibum did have a fine booty, those pilates really worked mirables—and the twenty nine year old Phd. Professor Lee Jinki literally gave a rat’s ass about it.

Jinki was probably chugging twenty bottles of soju right now, laughing and fondling the ass of some stripper shaking her stuff in his willing, horny lap.

He knew it was highly unlikely, since he swore Minho he would fry his balls and feed them to those precious poodles of his if he even dared to considerate the idea of taking Jinki to a strip club.

The man was smart alright, a brilliant Ivy League University lecturer, but god knows he’s stupid when it comes to seductive people openly flirting with him.

Kibum knows it, since it took him a year to finally get him to understand Kibum's painfully obvious advances towards him meant he was interested in something _more_ and a few more months for the man to return them as well.

But Minho was stupid and probably didn’t need his balls so much with Taemin bossing him around all the time, so he might as well have hired some hookers to go to his stupid apartment, literally giving all those sex-craving nymphs a nice, handsome, sexy, gorgeous man to do what they wanted with.

Fuck Minho and his soon-to-be barbequed balls!

Jonghyun stares at him warily as his eyes fire up with some new found determination.

That's it! Enough whining! Kibum was gonna enjoy his party, he was gonna enjoy it so much he was gonna be pissing a fucking fountain of glittery champagne in the next few hours.

Laughing evilly, he snaps his fingers at the waiter diligently delivering champagne to the guests, taking the glass given in his hands and successfully spilling some of it on the floor.

“Uh, Key are you okay?”

Kibum grins lovingly, pinching the brunet’s cheeks lovingly. “Of course Jjongie! I’m _peeerfect._ ”

Jonghyun shudders at the pet name, and instantly gasps as his best friend pretty much pours the liquid into his open mouth in the most obnoxious way know to man kind.

Kibum wasn’t one to be wild or outrageous, sure he had his diva complex, but he was a diva from another time, one that stays home on weekends, cooking desserts, watching old musicals, writing all those fashion articles and looking at those pictures he has to review to his boss like the responsible fashion editor from a famous magazine that he is.

He doesn’t do partying, doesn’t like drinking, he loves how his romantic life seems to be taken out from one of those Disney fairytales—Jinki makes a horrible prince in his opinion, with all that awkward stumbling on flat surfaces and Kibum doing practically all the saving—and even though Jonghyun had asked himself many times before how the hell he still manages to be best friends with that raven-haired male since high school, he's had enough time to come and understand how Kim Kibum works and how to accommodate the differences in their friendship.

And that enough gave him enough credentials to rightfully assert that _that_ right there, wasn’t the Kibum he knew.

 _Hell no_.

“You may wanna slow down on those, buddy.” Jonghyun cautiously stretches his hand towards the now third glass on Kibum’s grasp, but he shrieks as the twenty five year old tries to bite his fingers.

“Don’t be such a _prune_ Kim!” He sighs as Kibum pours once again the fruity champagne in his mouth, licking his lips while moaning at the taste.

The now sinful diva just laughs at his chastising demeanor and tosses, much to Jonghyun's dismay, the empty glass into a passing waiter, making the poor guy make an acrobatic move to catch it in mid air.

“Come on bitches! Let's get this show on the fucking road!”

The crowd screams and Jonghyun watches in horror as Kibum literally rips his cardigan off, his shirt loose enough to show the milky white expanse of skin from his exposed arms and collarbones, the black fabric sparkling in the lights as the intoxicated party boy jumps into the mass of bodies dancing to the heavy beat.

Okay, this was _bad_.

The next hour is spent with Jonghyun trying to pry some guys he sincerely couldn't remember even inviting off of Kibum as the oblivious man shakes his hips sinuously with those tight red pants on, taking drinks off petite hands in spite of having his own fingers literally chewed.

The heavy beat of the bass is now in sync with Kibum's body rolls. The beat gets lower and dirtier, and suddenly he's dying _that_ with his hips- and his tongue!?

The composer feels like dying at the sight of those R-rated moves. Where did Kibum even learn to dance like that!?

Like an angel's voice, Jonghyun hears the distinct ringtone of Kibum’s cellphone over the loud music, now vibrating in his back pocket and something like relief washes over him as he sees his best friend pocketing his pants in search of the annoying device _killing all his fun_.

It’s obviously Jinki, he knows that ringtone very well, and a smile stretches over his lips as Kibum answers the call.

Jinki will bring Kibum back to his senses, yes, everything’s gonna be fine.

“Hello _Professor Lee_ , glad to hear from you.” He frowns at the sarcastic tone in his voice, seeing a frown bloom in Kibum’s forehead as he attentively listens to what his fiancé has to say over the phone.

The younger's face shifts and his face to face now with The Look™.

 _Fuckfuckfuck!_ Jonghyun screams internally.

Because he knows that look, and everything's _not_ fine, at all.

"Don't you _babe_  me! And no! I'm not drunk!--" The agitated best man smiles around as a few of the guests stare at them both, confused by the way Kibum waves his finger in the air while barking on the phone, not really looking like he's enjoying the party anymore.

In panic, Jonghyun shouts for the bartender to start making some margaritas for everybody, making their friends' attention shift towards the bar and away from the current drama on the dance floor.

“You know what? I don’t wanna hear it from you Mister! You were probably so busy with your paid hookers that you didn’t even have the common courtesy to call or message your hot, beautiful, and worried fiancé!”

 _What? What the heck!?_ Jonghyun groans in desperation at his friend's delusional accusations slurred over the receiver.

Minho took Jinki and their friends bowling for his bachelor party for fuck’s sake! The most exciting thing on Jinki’s party was gonna be Joon dressing up as Lee Hyori and that wasn’t gonna be a pretty sight…

“Fuck you Jinki! You’re the worst fiancé ever!” This was a disaster, Jonghyun facepalms as he watches his friend fishing for another glass of champagne like a drunk feasty cat. “Have a good night okay!? AND I HOPE THOSE WHORES GIVE YOU A NASTY STD! .. wait, no, you'd pass it to me on our honeymoon… then, I HOPE THEY KICK YOU IN THE NUTS WHILE THEY GIVE YOU A LAP DANCE YOU PRICK!”

And the conversation is over, with a triumphant grin on Kibum’s lips that soon turns into a frown and later shifts into a pout.

 _Oh no_ , Jonghyun thinks in horror at the sight of those big fat tears dangling from Kibum’s feline eyes, _please no_.

“K-Kibum?”

“Jinki's such a jerk!”

And that's how Jonghyun kisses the idea of getting wasted goodbye.

Throughout the rest of the party, the older one found himself completing one of his duties as the best man he had secretly hoped not to do in the first place: consoling and assuring the hysterical fiancé currently bawling his eyes out that his soon-to-be husband loves him very much, and Jinki's not gonna leave him to open his own strip joint in the Bahamas (he had miscalculated just how drunk the latter had gotten). 

He's not very good at it of course, which results in Kibum sobbing and crying harder over the bar and him rubbing small circles over his back, asking the bartender for a beer in defeat— _On a second thought, make it a whiskey on the rocks please_ , he corrects dully.

If he’s gonna endure Kibum’s emotional, drunk breakdown, he better be well hammered and half conscious.

Slowly, the party come to an end, and one by one he waves and bids goodbye to their friends, reassuring some that the ceremony was at two in the afternoon and not at one like they thought.

Much to his surprise, the majority of the guests had barely noticed the incident, and the few that did hadn't minded, some even venturing to comment how they've seen far worse.

Taemin approaches him with an apologetic smile on his lips as he notices the party boy sleeping soundly with his face buried in his arms, his face twisted to the side, letting his tear-streaked cheeks be seen.

“It’s really normal you know, to go all hysteric and bridezilla before the wedding.”

“Really? Hysteric enough to wish for your soon-to-be-husband’s balls to be smashed by the ten-inch heel of some imaginary hooker?” He snorts, his fingers brushing some of Kibum’s black hair sticking to his cheek, tucking it behind his ear.

Taemin shrugged. “I threw Minho my MacBook Pro for answering a text message thirty minutes late.”

“Jesus, what’s with you crazy engaged people… can’t believe you guys are still getting married this fall. Hell, can't even believe Choi has managed to survive so far.”

Taemin giggled behind his hand, his engagement ring sparkling in the dimmed lights of the now empty club. “It’s a fiancés’ thing. You'll know what that means some day.”

 "Yeah, no thanks." Jonghyun scoffs.

The pretty red-head bid him farewell soon after, leaving him sipping the last bit of his whiskey as the soft snores of his best friend drifted in the air.

The serene silence is soon disturbed as Jinki walks through the entrance minutes later, smiling speechlessly and sighing at the sight of his snoring fiancé.

 _Finally_ , Jonghyun thinks, having texted the man to pick them up thirty minutes ago.

Fuck Minho and his stupid rule of 'no cellphones allowed' in his party.

Jinki quietly walks towards Kibum, kissing his hair lovingly before placing the sleeping male carefully in his arms.

Jonghyun sneaks a five dollar bill in his fingers, shaking the bartender’s hand as a cordial thanks while smoothly passing him the tip like a cool sophisticated ninja. With his coat and Kibum’s cardigan folder over his arm, he followed the professor outside and towards his Jeep at the parking lot.

“Honest to the Lord Jinki, your fiancé has some serious drinking issues. He tried to bite my finger several times tonight, like a real junkie.”

"Why do you think he doesn't like drinking in the first place?" Jinki laughed, placing Kibum carefully in the back seat.

The sleeping male stirred in his sleep, his eyes blinking drowsily, swollen and now heavy with sleep. “Jinki?”

“Yes baby, it’s me. Go back to sleep, okay? You need your rest for tomorrow. I'll wake you up when we get home.” Kissing his lips softly, he fastened the seatbelt over the once again sleeping male, brushing the dry tears over his cheeks before closing the door securely.  

“If I were you, I would smack that bubblegum butt of his to show that boy some manners. And I don’t care if he’s my best friend, really, he has to learn who’s the one wearing the pants in your marriage from day one.” Jinki chuckled at Jonghyun’s words, starting the engine and driving off.

“I don’t blame Kibum for acting that way, he’s always been a lousy drinker. I blame _you_ for bringing alcohol to the party and consequentially resulting in my fiancé getting drunk and wasted.”

Jonghyun gaped. “What!? A party is not a party without the booze! And besides, I already told you! Kibum tried to bite my fingers off whenever I tried to remove the drinks from his grabby hands! And I don’t mean it in some type of figurative shit! He legit wanted to chew my hand off!”

Jinki’s eyes flickered from the road to the rearview mirror, cooing and smiling at the sight. “Aww Jonghyun you really think I’m gonna believe you? Look at that gorgeous angel sleeping at the back. He wouldn’t do something as vicious as what you accuse him of.”

“Huh! I don’t think swearing death wishes to your junk is something an angel would do Jinki... and wishing for you to catch some nasty venereal diseases before your honeymoon is nothing celestial either. I’m praying for you buddy, I’m praying.”

"Thank you for your kind concern." Jinki pats his knee. 

“Whatever.” Jonghyun grumbles. He turns the radio on after that, sighing happily as his favorite song starts blasting through the speakers but scolding later as his friend turns the volume down, too low for his liking.

“So how did your bachelor party go? Did Choi bored you guys with his _awesome_  party hosting skills?” Jonghyun smirked, knowing that the tall cow-eyed professional soccer player sucked at parties, at attending them _and_ hosting them.

He felt proud okay? Shamelessly proud of his own party; pushing the thought of drunk, crazy fiances bawling their eyes out aside.

“Well, he _did_ hire some strippers…”

“WHAT!” Jonghyun screamed, only to be hushed by a frowning Jinki. They both looked back, sighing in relief as Kibum continues to snooze in the back.

“Yeah, but you know I’m not into that stuff, so I left after dinner and drove back to the Faculty to get some papers I need to review before picking you guys up.”

Jonghyun snorted, crossing his arms and staring out the window, almost mad at Jinki for missing out on the fun.

He had wanted sexy, free strippers dancing on his lap goddammit! And Minho had promised he wouldn’t play the stripper card! Not when Kibum prohibited him from hiring some hookers for his own bachelor party even though all decisions are made by the best man.

That alien was gonna hear from him at the ceremony tomorrow, that's for sure. Better yet, he was gonna have an interesting conversation with a certain red-head that he was certain hadn't known either what Choi Minho had pulled off.

“You’re such an old man, just like Kibum. You guys are meant for each other...bunch of old, boring prunes...”

Jinki smiled at Jonghyun's mumbles, watching Kibum sleeping from the rearview mirror, looking truly like an angel.

“I know.”


End file.
